Avatar: Cracked up stories
by Kataang-is-MYLIFE
Summary: When Avatar gets cracked up, only funny happens. Contains super man reference, psychedelic screen-savers psychiatrists, cheesy singing, Harry Potter, and WANG FIRE! update: I'm ashamed of these. I probably won't make anymore of them.
1. When Avatar sings

One evening, team avatar (team avatar, minus Zuko, for he was in the Firenation, doing his firelord duties.)after lounging around for hours in their estate in Ba Sing Sa, doing absolutely nothing and letting boredom take over, Katara suggested for the group to sing. It was a very random remark on her part, yes, but surprisingly, no one objected to the idea. Aang was first to sing.

"Katara, this is for you" He said, and cleared his throat. After several awkward moments of silence, Aang began to sing in a angelic voice, which was with out a doubt altered with Airbending. "I still feel your touch when you sleep next to me. I still hear your voice, in my dreams." Katara stood up and walked over to him, with a loving loom in her eyes, and continues his part, causing shock from everyone except herself. "Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why, with out you its hard to survive."

As the chorus came up, the two grabbed each other's hand, and sang together. "Cuz, every time we touch, I get this feeling! Cuz every time we touch, i swear I could fly.. listen to my-

"BOO! ENOUGH OF THIS ROMANTIC CHEESE! BOO!" Sokka screamed at the two. He reached down, took off his boots, and threw them at the lovers on the stage. Aang gasped, then placed his hands at his hips and scoffed at Sokka, making himself look very gay.

"FINE! IF YOU GONNA BE THAT WAY THEN..UGH" Aang said, followed by a invisible hairflip, then said in a very dramatic, shakespearean way... "come Katara my love.. lets BE OFF!" he riped off his fancyifull monk robes, to reveal a super man costume, then grabbed Katara's waist, while extending his fist in the air, then began to fly in the air, his cape flapping behind.

"Oh! My hero!" Katara exclaimed in a very seductive voice. "And a very SEXY one too *giggle."

"Oh Katara, lets go now, and eat romantic french toast, and watch scary movies that will hopefully get me laid!"

They fly away into the golden sunset, leaving me (I don't even remember how I got there but I was there.) Sokka, and Toph, looking absolutely bewildered, and slightly disturbed. Toph, out of no where, doubled over onto the ground in loud, obnoxious laughter, as Sokka turned a dark, crimson red and turned to me, obviously angry.

"WHAT DID I JUST WRITE?" I half asked, half screamed.

"I don't know, BUT UNWRITE IT! NOW" Sokka demanded, his face still very red indeed. "UNWRITE IT BEFORE AANG SCORES WITH MY SISTER! Quick! They're still watching the scary movie! Now unwrite it, before they make it to the bedroom!

"Um..r-right. Y-yeah. On it!" I stammered nervously. I raised my hands, and a large, purple cloud of magical dust appears. After the dust cleared the air, katara and Aang were revealed, sitting next to each other, with Aang looking quite disappointed.

"HEY! WHAT GIVES! I was just about to lose my virginity and the last few drops of innocence I have that connects me to the monks!" Aang yelled, crossing his arms.

"Wait, you're still a virgin twinkle toes?

"Um.. yeah. I am." Toph's eyebrows raised, then a satisfied smile crept upon her porcelain face.

"Wow. You are really less of a man than I thought.

"HEY! I am a man! Trust me. TRUST ME." Sokka scrunched his face, wondering what he meant by that, while Toph struggled to keep a serious face.

"And just because the world is filled with peer pressuring to have sex at a young age, doesn't mean that choosing to the moral codes of life (aka, abstinence from sex) makes you less manly. It makes you just all the more respectful."

"Hmm, well spoken twinkle toes. But wait, weren't you just disappointed because you lost the chance to bang Sugar-Queen over there?" Toph teased.

"um.. well. that wasn't really me. That was Kataang-is-MYLFE, who was writing out my destiny." he explained.

"You could have fought against it!" Said Sokka.

"Yeah, not really. She sorta decides that. She holds the power to our destiny, our minds and the way we move, talk, and even think. The reason why we are here. She even holds the key to or lives."

"Mmm...thats creepy!" Sokka replied.

"So Kataang-is-MYLIFE, I have a question for you." Aang said.

"Hm?"

"Are you gong to have me bang Katara, or what?"

"Yeah, I think so. I am a hardcore Kataang fan, so yeah. Go ahead and strip her of her virginity. *POOF (purple cloud appears, and the couple disappears.) Sokka stared over to me and shot me a deadly-glare.

"I hate you." He stated firmly, then walked away.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Well, this was a very interesting chapter. I wrote this a few days ago at 2:00 am, so I was slightly insane when I wrote this. I can honestly say that during the daytime when my saneness is still intact, I would never write this. So excuse my raunchy randomness. I hope you enjoyed it! Oh, and by the way, I have absolutely nothing against Gay people. I love gay people actually. I've always kinda wanted a gay, black guy friend, *stares wistfully at the ceiling. uh.. mmmHmm. *clears throat. Yeah. Anyways...

I put in a little paragraph about what I think about the modern world and how the media seems to be forcing people at a young age to think that to live in this world, you must have sex, and if you don't, there's something wrong with you. But no. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin. Your virginity is something special and that you hold hold close to you, and when the time is right and you really love and trust someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, then its fine. But don't feel like you need to have sex. Being a virgin until marriage is something you should pride yourself on, not something that should bring yourself down. :)


	2. Wang fire the phyciatrist

Here is another cracked up Avatar story that I wrote randomly at 2AM. (I write weird stuff at 2AM)

This Fan Fic that was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend on facebook. We were talking about how I always seem to have arguments with my self, and that I need help, and somehow I got this image in my mind. The story is told from the view point of me having a vision, and this is exactly what I saw, so that is why it's written in such a vague way.

Sorry about it's crappy, cheese quality. It was 2AM. I was tired.

I'm walking down a long, carpeted hallway, with the muffled sounds of women speaking, phones ringing, and the fast-paced steps of people walking hurriedly in the background sound. The hall I'm walking in has the walls and carpet a matching greyish-blue tone, and the familiar scent of paper, ink, and plastic wood. I'm obviously in a office building.

I keep walking, and on the last door on the right side of the hallway, there is a glass panel on the door, with the words printed on it in black ink, "Dr. Wang Fire. Psychiatrist."

I enter the room, and there on a seat is a young man (Sokka), lounging around, his feet up and staring into his reflection of a metal boomerang, which was clearly polished and sharpened very recently.

To gain his attention, I cleared my throat. The man turned around, and revealed his face. He was a very attractive person, for sure. Beautiful Azure eyes, copper skin, and definitive eyebrows. His brown hair was pulled into a neat top-knot, but there was one feature of the man that was quite, unusual. His beard was strangely stiff and off colored, as if it were fake. But why would a psychiatrist be wearing a fake beard?

"Oh hello there! Ah! Come in, and do sit down, yes, do sit down!" He said, indicating the long seat. I lied down, and stared up at the ceiling fan above, while the man gathered up his items clumsily, dropping a clipboard or a pencil every few second, then he sat behind me.

"Okay. What seems to be the matter with you today?"

"Well, i've been arguing with myself a lot lately."

"Hmm.. I see. And how does that make you feel?" He asked.

"Well, it worries me. I mean, do you see other people arguing with themselves all the time a lot? Its strange." I implied.

"Hmm... I see.. I see. And how does _that_ make you feel?"

I raised my eyebrow at his repeated remark, then answered "It makes me feel different."

"Different. I see. How does that make you feel?"

2 HOURS LATER

"So you lost your pet turtle at the zoo after you dropped him into a whale tank, and the whale shot him out of the water, and he ended up landing in a popcorn venders hat. Mmmm... sad. And how does that make you feel?"

"THATS IT! IVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CHEESE! I'M OUTTA HERE!" I screamed at Wang fire, irritated greatly by his nonsense repetition, and stormed out of the room angrily. I heard hi shout from behind me, "Don't forget to pay up front!"

Well, there ya go! Review and tell me if you like it, and look forward to more Avatar cracked up stories, because I love writing at 2Am. And also, I'm having a website starting up soon for my fanfiction, and after it's complete and I've posted my first story, I'll copy a link to it on my profile page. Looking forward to it's completion!

Well, have a awesomely awesome day that is un-cheesified! Byers!


	3. When Trapped in Switzerland

_Okay... I wrote this at 2:00 am... and I am deeply ashamed of myself for it. Please, don't judge me. And actually, to be honest, I don't even remember writing this. I went on my computer in the morning, brought up my writings, and found this. I have never been more confused my life. Seriously, who forgets writing a story this long? Apparently I do!_

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender, and thank god that I don't because that would mean every episode would resemble Aang's mental breakdown in "Nightmares and daydreams."

**I don't remember writing this...**

Aang was laying on something itchy and wet at the same time, and he did not enjoy the feeling. He stood up, and looked down to a patch of bright green grass, still wet with a shimmering morning dew.

"What am I doing outside?" He thought aloud. Aang looked around him, only to find that he was atop a large, grassy hill, surrounded by beautiful purple mountains and grass greener than any grass he had ever seen. Little goats were placed along the sides of the mountains.

"Why am I in switzerland?" Aang was now beyond confusion. He walked around a bit, taking in the gorgeous scenery, when he stepped on something squishy, yet hard at the same time, and a loud groan erupted from under his food. He examined where the groan came from, only to discover Katara laying down on the grass, face up.

"Why did you feel the need to step on my face?" She asked him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." Aang explained. He extended his hand, and helped her up.

"Aang, where are we?"

"Switzerland."

"Oh, okay." Katara shrugged casually. "But seriously, we need to get back to Ba Sing Se. I think I left the shower on..."

"Alright, we can go now. All we need to do is find the King's Cross Station in London, then we can take the Hogwarts express home."

"Okay. Sounds simple enough to me." Just then, Aang slightly backed away from Katara and stepped into the sun, when-

"AANG! YOU'RE SPARKLING!" Katara yelled. He looked down, and sure enough, his arms were glittering like precious jewels.

"Ah, it's that Twilight—glitter lotion I used." He explained.

"Why did you put on glitter lotion?"

"I ran out of my own, so I borrowed it from Zuko."

"Ah."

"Well, we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz, so lets be off!" Aang spun around and marched in a random direction, when a terrifyingly beautiful lady with snakes for hair popped out of the ground in front of him.

"I am Medusa, cousin of Koh and sister of Edward Cullen. Let me turn you to stone!" Medusa hissed. Aang and Katara screamed and ran down the hill. Aang was losing his footing, and Medusa was right there trailing behind him. He couldn't keep on running forever; he would eventually tire or trip. He had to do something.

Just then, he realized he had been holding his glider the whole time.

"Katara! Grab onto me!" He yelled.

"Aang, I know we've been dating for a while now, but I don't think I'm quite ready for-"

"NO! Grab onto my arm!" Katara did just as he told her, and he opened his glider and they went off soaring through the swedish sky.

He looked back, and saw Medusa hissing furiously on the hill below them, shouting curses and threats to them. Aang smiled and looked up, only to discover that his glider had turned a brilliant shade of hot pink over night.

"Aang, why is your glider purple?" Katara asked.

"Well first off, its _pink_, not_ purple_. Pink is more masculine anyways. Secondly, to answer your question, I have absolutely no freaking idea why it's pink."

"Fair enough answer." They flew for a couple more minutes, when Aang spotted what looked like a soft pile of hay to land in.

He soared down, dropped Katara onto the pile, then stood on the ground himself.

"Well, that was a narrow escape, but we somehow managed to make it." Aang said triumphantly.

"Oh look, Aang! We're in a field of giant kidney beans!" Sure enough, when Aang looked around, he saw massive kidney beans growing.

He was examining the beans, when he smelled a delectable scent that was wafting through the air. His eyes fluttered briefly, then he turned to Katara and said-

"DO YOU SMELL THAT?"

"Yeah, it smells like a batch of Amy's home cooked vegetarian chili with extra protein." Katara suspected.

"Oooh, Amy's!" Aang said excitedly, his eyes bugging out. "I love their burritos, especially the beans and cheddar ones. It's SOOO tasty, and it's entirely vegetarian, like me!"

"Yummy, let's go get some." Katara said. They walked around the field, when they spotted a large, copper cauldron, which had the chili cooking inside. Next to the cauldron, there was a convenient stack of clean bowls, all with different designs.

Aang and Katara walked up to the table, grabbed a bowl, and looked at which one they got.

Aang's bowl was a gorgeous piece of art, containing a detailed and inadequate painting of Harry Potter.

Katara's bowl, however, had a picture of-

"Sokka doing the waffle dance? Seriously? Oh, and look. It's been enchanted so that the pictures move just like they do in Harry Potter-"

"DID SOMEONE SAY HARRY POTTER?" Belted a man, who appeared out of nowhere with a large cracking noise. He was a tall, menacing looking man, with stern eyes, a crooked nose, and greasy, black hair which clung to head.

"AH! IT'S SNAPE, THE POTIONS MASTER!" Aang and Katara screamed in unison.

"Yes, it is I, Snape, the potions master. Now, what are you two doing lurking around the campus grounds at this late hour? I'm afriad that I'm going to have to expel you, , and your friend here too."

"Um, Snape, three things. One, I'm Aang, not Harry Potter, and this is Katara, not Ginny Weasly. Secondly, we are not even in Hogwarts right now. Thirdly, we don't even go to Hogwarts. We are half-muggle, since we cannot perform magic, but we can do bending."

"Oh? Well then, I'm just going to have to call Dumbledore over here, so that he can bring the Sorting hat, and you can be Sorted into your House."

Aang protested, "No, that's not what we rea-"

"HEADMASTER, SIR! I HAVE SOME YOUNG WIZARDS HERE WHO ARE LATE TO BE ACCEPTED INTO HOGWARTS!" Aang called. Suddenly, an ancient man with snowy white hair, a long crooked nose, wearing a dazzling, silver robe, who had pale blue eyes and half moon spectacles greeted the couple before him.

"Hello, young students! I am your new headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. I have heard much about you too; my Student, Harry Potter. He admires the way you defeated Former Firelord ozai. He say's you did it in such a merciful, pure way, much like he defeated Voldemort. Never said sent unforgiveable curse at the man, yet he beat him, right there in front of the whole school. Anyways, it is time for you two to be sorted into your Hogwarts house! You both seem like Gryffindors to me, but Katara might be a Huffelpuff.."

"What the hell is a Huffelpuff?" She asked.

"I'm not so entirely sire myself, but nevertheless, you might just be one."

"Professor Dumbledore," Aang started, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but we're not very interested in enrolling in Hogwarts, though it does sound like fun. Really, we just need to get home right now."

Dumbledore looked at Aang sceptically, and for a second Aang thought the old man might yell at him for turning down such a wonderful opportunity. However he just smiled. "Very well. You said you needed to get home? Alright then. Both of you, grab my arm; I'm going to apparate us to Ba Sing Se." Immediately when they took his arm, Aang felt a suffocating sensation throughout his whole body. He felt like he was speeding through a tight tube, which was only getting smaller and smaller as he raced on. He felt his lungs collapsing in on him, and his ribs were on the verge of cracking, it seemed.

Aang was beginning to feel like we was going to die of suffocation, when all the pressure he had been feeling a moment before vanished, and he collapsed.

He fell down on a hard, wooden floor the color of dark umber. He looked around him.

It was his home, is Ba Sing se!

He stood up weakly, still feeling wobbly from the apparateion. When he got up though, he instantly fell down again, overtaken with sudden nausa.

"Aang, are you okay?" Asked Dumbeldore, extending his arm to help Aang up.

"I'm fine, thanks professor Dumbeldore."

"No problem my boy. It's always a pleasure to help those in need. Well, it is time for me to be off. I need to speak to Minerva now about the school's food. I recently found out that it seems there is a lack of Lemon drops being served at Desert. It is a muggle treat, after all, but even so, it is still wonderful." He said, as he reached inside his robes, took out a metal tin, and opened it to reveal scrumptious-looking lemon drops.

"Want one, you two?"

Katara looked at the lemon drops with a sort of needy look in her eyes. "If it's alright with you, we can have one," she sad. Both Aang and Katara plopped the lemon drops in their mouths with great delight, and Dumbledore did just the same.

"Well, until next time, you two." He said, waving goodbye. Aang and Katara waved back, and with a crack, he disappirated.

"That was fun." Aang commented.

"No kidding."

_Okay, I swear, that is the weirdest thing I have ever written EVER! About the Amy's thing, I LOVE their bean and cheese burrito. It's extremely healthy, extremely tasty, and VEGETARIAN! (I'm beginning to go vegetarian.) Um, I just watched the Sound of music, to thats why they probably went to switzerland, I think about Twilight a lot (even though I hate it,) and I am really obsessed with Harry Potter right now. I'm serious. With me, it's always Harry Potter this, Harry Potter that. I've been re-__reading the books lately, so... yeah._

_About the medusa popping out of the ground, I have no clue what that was about. Sometimes my subconscious surprises me._


	4. Psychedelic screen saver

**This is really based off of what I did last night. I was really cracked-up for some reason.**

**Anyways, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or it's characters. If I did, most of the episodes would be somewhat like this.**

**Oh, and there are FINALLY 27,000 Avatar the Last Airbender fanfictions! Just 400 to go before we have as many as Teen Titans! YAY**

"Oh my spirits, Katara, LOOK!" Aang was sitting at the computer, staring at the screen with wide eyes and a dumb smile plastered over his face.

Katara walked over to the desk where Aang was sitting at, and looked at the screen. He was only staring at the screen saver, which was made of many brightly colored circles swirling around the center of the screen.

"Um. . . what am I not seeing?" She asked.

"What, you don't see this? _This_?" He gasped at her, wildly pointing a finger at the computer.

"Well, I that it's a screen saver, but I don't see what's so special about it."

His ginormous smile only became wider, and practically reached his ears. "IT HAS PRETTY COLORS!"

Katara just blinked at him. "Um. . . . are you. . . . _okay_. . . . Aang?"

"I'm _more_ than okay! I'm _okay-_okay!" 

"Okay then." Katara started. "I think I'm going to leave no-"

"NO DON'T LEAVE!"

"Okay!"

"Katara, you need to do this with me!" Aang told her.

"Do what?"

"Just sit down here with me." He scooted over on his seat, and motioned her to sit down with him.

"Alright, I will." She said hesitatingly. She sat down partly on the edge of the seat, coming precariously close to falling off.

"Okay, Katara. I want you to put these in your ears." Katara just noticed the earbuds in his ears at he took them out. She put them in her own.

"I want you (she's so heavy) by the Beatles?" She asked.

"Yep. What do you notice about the song?"

"Um. . . it's sort of. . . spacey?"

"Yeah, it sounds like they wrote it while they were stoned, right?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I guess it kin of does."

"Yeah, okay. Now, what I want you to do is listen to that song while watching the screen, and try not to blink."

"Okay, I will." Katara turned towards the computer, and began to watch. She watched the circles spinning around and around, and she began to feel a little. . . . lightheaded. Suddenly, the circles shot out away from the middle of the screen, making her feel like she was flying right into the screen. The song was playing in her ears.

She began to giggle feverishly. Suddenly, the circles exploded with color, and she felt as though she was traveling through space, and the song only added to the sensation. She leaned in closer, to the point where her nose was practically touching the glass.

"Oh my spirits, Aang, do you see _this_?"

She tilted her head, and continued to stare at the screen for the next four minutes. When the song ended, she groaned sadly, and took the earbuds out.

"Aang, that was so. . . cool. Now I feel kind of all. . . . like. . . dizzy and lightheaded and stuff-HAHAHA!" She fell off the chair and landed on the ground with a hard and loud thump, while giggling uncontrollably. Soon, Aang joined her in her laughter, and sat on the ground with her.

"Hey-hey, hey, um. . . Aang!"

"Yes?" Aang smiled crookedly at her.

"let's go ride some. . . unicorns!" She suggested.

"GOOD IDEA, but. . . . we don't have any unicorns this time of year."

"Oh, sad."

"BUT," He held up a finger, "We can just fly Appa!"

"But he's a dog! He can't _fly_!"

"Oh, I forgot. Wait, then let's fly. . . my broomsticks!"

"YES!" They jumped up, the wobbly walked out of the office area and into the kitchen, where the broom was in the pantry."

"It's in here!" Aang exclaimed!

"Yay!" Katara opened the door, and brought out two old looking broomsticks.

"Okay, we have them! Lets fly!" They both hopped on the broomsticks, and ran around the kitchen.

They began to chase each other around, laughing loudly as they were doing so. Suddenly, someone walked in.

"Um. . . . guys? What are you _doing_?" Sokka asked.

"We're _flying_!" Aang exclaimed.

"Aang, I think the affects are starting to wear off. I'm beginning to feel normal," Katara informed him with a slight hint of worry in her voice.

"Okay! Let's go back to the office and watch the screensaver again!"

"YES!" With that, they 'flew' down the hallway, their broomsticks still underneath them, leaving Sokka standing in the kitchen, wearing a very dumbstruck expression.

"Whatever they're smoking. . . I want some."

**Okay, this chapter was really short. I acted a lot like this last night. I was actually staring at a swirling, psychedelic looking screen while listening to I want you (She's so heavy) by the Beatles. It was fun, and I ended up getting a little high from it. Instead of writing broomsticks, though, I went to my parents, pretended to falcon punch them, then ran into my bedroom and proceeded to act like a dinosaur-monkey riding a magical unicorn. **


End file.
